~~ When She Wishes ~~

New Journal!

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 22:49:48 GMT

Head on over to lindendryad! Because that's where the magic's happening now. Ta ta! ;p

So excited!!!

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 04:09:36 GMT

Tonight I'm heading out to see the midnight showing of Harry Potter with Matt and some friends from work!! I'm so very excited that it's disgusting. ;)

Oh but I have been having many irritations over the past few days and thought I would mention them. Just because I can.

1) Why do people have to stand like lazy cows when on an escalator? They block the way up and then just plop themselves down! Now I understand that some people aren't in a hurry (such as at the mall) but honestly, just walk up the steps. That's why there are steps. FOR WALKING. Once you've missed catching your train when you REALLY need to be on it you hate these escalator standers for life.

2) For goodness sake, stop wearing your fucking disgusting perfume! People in the summer just love slathering themselves in it and it makes me sick! And literally so as I am allergic. ;/ You think you're sweaty and stinky in the summer? Than try a FUCKING SHOWER. Because your perfume smells like alcoholic flowery shit.

3) I'm really fed up with closed minded people who think that something isn't worth their effort just because it's not branded. I'm just honestly sick of people who can't think outside the box. Or the cage they've placed themselves in that defines who they are and what they do. You can be more. Honestly. The only reason you're not more is because you're willingly ignorant.

So there. Whew!

Anyways...Harry Potter yay! ;P

Why hello there stranger...

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 07:27:57 GMT

There has been a shift in perception. And yet another change in the weather, both inside and out.

Thank goodness for change. Sometimes I forget it exists.

As of late I am drinking wonderful teas, sleeping in or waking up early. Enjoying the sunshine and the rain. Rediscovering the joys of an evening. Regaining my edginess and clarity of thought from the smoke that clouded my identity and who I thought I needed to be to be happy and to belong.

It's not the clothes I wear or the cliched "thoughts" I subscribe to that mean anything. I don't need to trap myself behind borders. Because I have laughter, love and the always present undercurrent of sadness to wade or wallow in. Nothing is permanent or absolute (not even this statement).

I haven't had anything worth writing about because I haven't been thinking lately. Or even living really. So here's to an end to that and a beginning of this.

In short, I'm back.

Yay rain!!

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 20:11:08 GMT

Wow I never thought I would be this happy to see it rain but yay! My apartment has been altogether too hot lately for my liking. The only relief I've been getting is by hanging out outside in either the shade or in the evening (when I'm usually working).

But I did get to go out to the beach yesterday. Me and Robyn headed out to Barnet Marine Park which was decent enough. There was no concession which we both really needed and we smoked some pot that left me feeling really shitty for the rest of the day so it could've been better. My favourite part of going to the beach is going swimming and the area allocated for it was really tiny, the water was just a bit too chilly still, and Robyn didn't even want to attempt going in. So I waded for about a minute but got bored.

So really, it kind of sucked but being with Robyn was fun. And we did go out for japanese food afterwards so that was great.

I had a really great weekend with Matt too. We went out shopping on both Friday evening (when I was able to score a 9-5 shift yay!) and on Saturday afternoon for some much needed bathing suits and extra clothes. We also were able to get him a new power supply for his computer so hopefully it will be working again soon. It sucks with his computer being broken. ;( It's our main source of home entertainment. We also went out to IHOP on Saturday for breakfast, a silly pleasure of both of us. ;)

Oh and I saw something funny when me, Matt, and Mike were playing frisbee on Saturday evening. A family went to the park walking not only a couple dogs, but a duck. It was so hilarious to see this big white duck chasing a tiny little dog and waddling so fast that it looked like it was going to rip itself in half! Weirdness...

Anyways, I'm going to attempt to get something minor accomplished before I head off to work! I've been screwing around on the internet looking at Harry Potter stuff pretty much since I woke up (DORK). My family is coming to visit for almost a week in two weeks so I really need to get this place looking decent again. It's definitely been awhile...;/

Time for a post!

Mon, 28 May 2007 20:32:15 GMT

So this past week has been fairly fabulous! Seeing Bjork was amazing! The venue was outside (Deer Lake Park) and beautiful! Me and Robyn drank lots of beer and she got some fish and chips in a bucket that says "big bucket o' fries" with pictures of fries on it that she gave to me. Because it was obviously the best bucket ever, maybe even cooler than my hp bucket from the movie theatre.

Anyways, the opener for Bjork was complete shit noise so we tried to hide from it by going to the bathroom 500 times at Robyn's beer-drinking request/need and so that she could smoke and I could eat ice cream far away from pain. But once Bjork started we were watching and swaying. The best thing was how her stage had these funny banner/flags that were various neon green/red/blue with pictures of frogs and snakes on them. And the brass section were wearing what looked like matching neon pylons/beach balls. It was funny.

And Bjork was amazingly wonderful. She kept saying "Thank you" in a kittenish voice whenever she wasn't singing and she sang tons of gooders! Me and Robyn snuck up to the front/side to catch more of the excitement just in time for some awesome beats to happen with a light show playing upon the trees and all. Oh and at one point earlier someone released a single pink balloon that floated slowly skywards during a very poignant song and it was like perfect magic symbolism. Or something like that anyways.

So yeah, all in all a really enjoyable show! If my camera didn't hate me and my shaky hands then I would have pictures but alas. ;D

And this weekend we had a big drinkfest with Kat, Mike and Andrew who was visiting them. We got super drunk and took random retarded/hilarious pictures! It was great fun but once we got home Matt threw up all over the sheets we had yet to put on our bed (note: do not leave making your bed until after a drinking party) plus the comforter. So that really blew(chunks...haha). And then we had a weird drunken fight that in retrospect makes no sense at all. So that was weird too. But we made up the next day and were super snuggly in our hangover-ness. So I had my first hangover! Weirdness...

And yeah that's about it for now. I get my bar training tomorrow at work though!! Yay!! ;D

Best work week ever.

Wed, 23 May 2007 18:25:45 GMT

This week is my ideal work week: Mon-Tue, Thur-Fri closing shifts. Yes! So basically I sleep in every day and only have to work two days before getting a day off. And still get the weekend off.

Sweet. ;)

I have today off because I'm going to the Bjork concert! ;D Should be a lot of fun!

I was super super sick this weekend with a cold. I slept away both days. Which was really too bad because our apartment is a dump and there is a ton of cleaning to be done. Which as per usual never happens. ;/

But me and Matt both have today off so after some more hp reading I suppose it will be time to tackle the mountain that is our dishes!

cue whiny baby

Fri, 18 May 2007 20:18:32 GMT

I wish I was rich. Because then I could buy a nice funky house.

Yeah.

So today JJ Bean is having a super giant sale which basically involves giving people free money. And I'll be on till tonight. So naturally I woke up with a sore throat.

But seriously, how am I ever going to be able to afford anything that I want? Ugh...

...and a couple of weeks go by.

Tue, 15 May 2007 19:55:17 GMT

I've been having an up and down half a month. Starting to work full-time again was a bit rough on me and having completely different hours from Matt is kind of a bitch. I'm starting to get used to it so things are getting better and I do like working later in the day but I'm hoping as time goes by I can get rid of my "new person" status and finally get rid of all closing shifts. Cuz I like closing but I like being with Matt better.

Me and Matt have had a couple big bad fights but I think we're hopefully going to be alright now. I don't really want to get into details because I still feel kind of tender about it. I think we just need to work on communication what with having different schedules and patterns now.

We went out on a really fun date a couple weekends ago though. We've been making the most of the days off we do have together, even if they are few and far between. We're ahead on reading Harry Potter now so that's been really fun. Also with our tax money back we're going to be making some really fun buys in the next little while! I'm hoping to get a decent bike to use to get to work and Matt's hopefully going to be buying us a nice tv and a wii!! So that will be mucho cool. I'm also hoping I can go visit my family at the end of June so we'll see how that all pans out. ;)

And me and Robyn went out hiking on the weekend and it was super fun! Something I'm hoping we can do more of as summer comes, along with hitting the beach of course. ;D So yeah I've been doing pretty well...but I haven't really felt too inclined to write about it, thus the semi-hiatus. I don't know. Things feel kind of transient lately for some reason. It's like I can't hold onto my feelings or thoughts and it's a bit unnerving.

I've been thinking a lot about my characters again and about painting. But I'm still too scared to really do anything. I'm working on changing that and hopefully something will come out of it this time.

And I've been feeling vain lately I suppose. I just feel even more insecure about my weak chin because I hate how in so many pictures I look like I have a squat face. Just chubby and ugly. It's really not fair because I'm thin but my face just feels like a smushy little ball of dough on top of my long neck. I kind of want to get a chin implant. And just admitting that and typing it out makes me feel like a really lame, vain loser. Ah well what can you do I suppose.

I'm rambling now and not really feeling too good about it. Basically, moral of the story is that my mood keeps bouncing up and down and I feel out of control. I'm going to have a shower and get ready for work.

Very Un-Good.

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 19:01:07 GMT

I have been feeling so shitty for the past few days! And nothing really normal that I could just define/treat/ignore. I fell over yesterday morning from lack of blood-sugar I suppose and dizziness, something which I haven't done for quite a while. It was almost every night/morning when I was in high school. I've had an absolutely pounding headache which has left me not wanting to move (it's mostly gone now though thank goodness) and I feel really lethargic and heavy. And boiling hot.

I couldn't sleep last night until really late and then I slept in by 2 hours even though I had shit to do this morning. Like my laundry. Which is starting to achieve a really high level of lame. Uncomfortable undies, Matt's socks, shirts that don't fit so well...but thankfully Matt washed me some of my pants while I was at work one night, probably because he's sick of me constantly wearing my pajamas at home and then going to work in dirty pants covered in coffee.

Yeah I'm kind of disgusting. Hopefully I will be able to fall asleep by 12 or at least before 1, get up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, do my laundry, further neaten the ruins that are our apartment, and re-dread my frazzled hair.

Otherwise I will simply continue turning into a wild creature and will go off and live in a forest. I will either become a dryad and live in a tree for the rest of my days or shrink down into a fox and scurry off to places only foxes know. It might be alright. No matter what happens the future looks pretty decent.

Important Decisions.

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 19:42:18 GMT

So after stressing and thinking a lot about the wedding I brought it up in discussion with Matt last night and we've decided to put it off for a few years-indefinitely. Because I'm not ready to deal with it yet (something about being immature and broke) and he didn't want to get married in the first place.

Yeah, that's right. Basically a few years ago (after about the time we'd had a lot of relationship problems and had finally worked out the majority of it) I was really insecure that he would leave me again. That he didn't mean what he said anymore, or more that it was a temporary thing for him. So my silly brain decided that if he asked me to marry him that would mean he would actually be ready to commit. Me, who had never entertained thoughts of being a bride and hadn't wanted to get married. When I was younger and would look into the future, I usually saw myself as a loner artist with about a million cats. And that is what I would fantasize about. Again, silly. But somehow comforting...

Anyways, I pressured him and bugged him about it for about a year. I think I finally stopped just before last summer. And I suppose because I stopped he thought it would be a good time to actually do it because I wasn't being a spaz and he actually got comfortable with the idea. And then the proposal completely fell to shit. Which I don't think I ever mentioned on here. It was a horrible day which I have generally been vague about and smoothed over mentioning. But we were dirty and tired and I was heart-broken about leaving my family (although I honestly am and was happy to have moved out here) and when he led me with my eyes closed into a strange space I only felt acute anxiety and could only think "not like this" over and over again. I hurt Matt's feelings a lot and he realized that if he'd really thought it out better and had a little foresight, he would have done it completely differently so as not to hurt my feelings. Which is fine. We're both alright. And we're happy being engaged to eachother. I wear my ring everyday and it means a lot to me.

But yeah. Neither of us really wanted to get married anyways. And now we're supposed to be pumped about getting ready for it and blah blah blah and I'm supposed to be girly and talk about it with every female I see or something. Or at least that's how it's felt, particularly when we went back to Red Deer and it felt like that's all there was going for me when we were visiting (Matt's family in particular). But really there are so many things we would rather invest our money and time into in the foreseeable future. And if we wait until we are older we can take care of the majority of the planning and financing etc. so as to make it something fun for our families to attend, rather than something that they have to do most of the dealings for. Me and Matt would rather we take responsibility for it because what's the point in getting married if we can't even act as adults for it?

So it's not that we're not going to get married because we've said we are and have committed to doing that. But we're thinking of waiting. For maybe a long time. I'm personally starting to think in upwards of a decade.

Now I have to tell everyone this. Ugh...

Love

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 03:18:25 GMT

"After consulting a random person on the telephone..."

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:46:16 GMT

Seriously not happy right now. In fact, I'm somewhat distressed. See, I'm re-reading Charles DeLint's earliest collection of short stories as I'm on a kick of him (along with the hp madness of course). And I've discovered, now for the second time and in a more extreme way, that I've ripped off two character names, one a first name and another a last name that I had intended to use for numerous generations of characters in my stories. And no, the names are definitely not Sarah or Brown.

So I feel like a giant moron. I didn't mean for this to happen! Why must my subconscious mind be such a piece of shit irritation? I really don't want to change anything. I'm really happy with it. Or was. Do any of you think it's a problem?

When I told Matt, and once he was tired of my huffing and puffing sighing, he simply replied "Some famous writer guy once said "A rose with any other name"..." and left it at that. I really hope that that's the case. Because I love Charles DeLint. And if anyone has inspired me, he has. Someone even compared some of my writing to him. But this is just crushing.

Blargh...;(

Exactly my sense of humour.

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 17:41:30 GMT

Sunshine

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:27:55 GMT

I've had some goodness in the past few days. At work last week I traded a guy a cup of steamed soy mild for a print photograph. He looked like Santa Claus and was undeniably kooky but he had some really solid pieces and I was pretty excited to take one of them home (although I haven't yet because I keep forgetting it at work like a moron). He then took some photos of me (right in the store while I was working haha) and says he'll bring me in a print. So we'll see what happens there.

I finished my latin class! I had a horrible exam that, even though I studied, I still didn't completely get but I didn't fail or anything. I just couldn't answer a few questions. But at this point it's not about marks, it's about getting my goddamn degree already. ;P

I found out I am allergic to chamomile! How strange! I was bagging some for a man, spoon by spoon when all of a sudden I could NOT stop sneezing, my eyes were watery, my throat tight and itchy...it left me all dumbfounded and sniffly for the rest of my shift (thankfully it happened near the end). So yeah. Weird allergy there. I've drank the stuff before and it has always made my throat feel a little funny but I thought that's just what it was like. *shrugs*

I babysat my cousin Tim's son Dexter one night with Matt. Well Matt slept and I watched Dex play Spyro and then we watched part of the Mummy. It was fun because I could tell that Dexter loved being able to stay up late with me eating as much popcorn as possible and playing video games. ;) I'm a big softie for him.

I went out shopping with Robyn yesterday and she is the biggest sweetheart ever! She got me a jade plant for my birthday! I have one back in Red Deer that I couldn't bring because it had grown too large and I was quite sad not to have it. But now I have a new one! ;D Also she's treating me to the Bjork concert on the 23rd of May!!! She's such an amazingly nice friend! Me and Matt had dinnner with her and Adam last night as well and she made this awesome stuffed pork dinner. Mmm...and I helped! She also lent me her Jem and the Holograms DVDs a while ago and I LOVE IT!!! So obsessed haha! We're thinking of being Jem and Kimber for halloween so we'll see how that goes. ;P But yeah, super good times. I'm so glad that we met eachother. She's such a cool person. ;)

Oh and speaking of cool persons, my best friend from early elementary, Jody, found me on facebook! It's so exciting getting to talk to her again! We had some fun times her and I; watching too much Labyrinth, me pulling a lodged stone out of her knee, and having freckle contests. ;D

I'm having a really fulfilling and happy time lately. Now I just need to actually get our apartment semi-decent (right now it is in the minuses for decency), figure out wedding list crap (ugh), and get signed up for BC health care. You know, actually be responsible for things. And on that note, I'm out!

My life is pretty boring lately.

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 18:47:48 GMT

Your Birthdate: April 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations.
You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you.
Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans.
You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot.

Your strength: Your ability to gain respect

Your weakness: Caring too much what others think

Your power color: Orange-red

Your power symbol: Letter X

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

That's pretty much all I have to say. I've been doing basically nothing of note. Although I did spend most of Sunday reading Widdershins by Charles DeLint, a book that I had been so extremely excited to read and which Katie gave me for my birthday. <3 And it was everything I'd hoped it would be. *happy sigh*

Well back to my everyday mundanity.

Nervous!!

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 17:32:02 GMT

So my Latin prof has just fucked me over. The class has been a real joke so far. I could take all the time I wanted to translate my homework. And the quizzes were mostly multiple guess which I'm very good at. Basically I haven't seriously read the text in a month because I have an intuitive sense of language and the homework was set up so simply.

And just now he's realized this and has decided to change the format of the last quiz and then my final next week. Now I have to not only translate stuff from Latin to English but also in the reverse (which I've never done) and there are no multiple choice. I take forever to do translating because I don't have an actual knowledge base and just look it up in the text. And it's timed. ;(

Have I ever mentioned that I have a ton of anxiety surrounding both exams and, particularly, timed exams!!! *shakes with stress*

And after this I have to go to work! ;( *cries*

I know it's all my fault but I hate this class, I hate university, I hate. I just thought I could coast by and get my fucking degree FINALLY. I'll still pass and all but I hate doing badly. Because I'm a priss. Grr...

edit- Also I am still sick. And all this talk about nominative clauses and antecedents is making my head just swim.

Wow where to begin...long post ahead!

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 19:10:57 GMT

Thanks to everyone who wished my a happy birthday! So it's been quite a long time since I've made a substantial post. In fact looking back at the last real post I made I can't really remember much of what happened after that and before I went to Red Deer on the 4th. But I will fill in with some important general happenings.

An old school friend of Matt's, Joel, came to visit us for a couple days. It was pretty fun and we went out to Granville Island for a daytrip and then had dinner with him, Kat, and Mike. So good times. Me and Joel don't really have any sort of common ground whatsoever so I was impressed with how few awkward moments there were. Not that there weren't any though. ;P

I worked a few shifts at JJ Bean and things seem to be coming along nicely. I like the people I work with and am still feeling the good feelings. Unfortunately though I've been scheduled for almost all evening shifts (2:45-10:45) which is really not good, 1)Because I'm nervous about walking around what can be a bit of a rough neighbourhood and then waiting around at one of the skeeziest skytrain stations and 2)I get tired early because I'm lame. So this will be interesting. Hopefully I won't fall asleep at work and/or be attacked.

My sister got kicked out of Active Skalactic because Nate's brother doesn't like her and then Nate dumped her because he was being a complete asshole idiot. This broke her heart on the first weekend of April. Then Nate tried to get her back but Katie doesn't know if she can trust him. More on this in the rundown/highlights of my trip:

Wednesday 4th: Me and Matt head for the airport early in the morning after having only about 4 hours of sleep. Once in Calgary (which was dreary and snowy) my cousin Caitlin picks us up and we head over to the (you may or may not remember it as "dreaded") Ferguson home where I lived for part of last year. Then we go to the Sev where Anamika works and is supposed to have my Dead Like Me dvds to return. But she doesn't have them (fucking theif) and she offers me a free slurpee and I leave understanding that our friendship is pretty much over as far as I am concerned. Then we meet up with Heather at the lovely Oolong Teahouse and drink a lot of tea and have a really great time. Caitlin then drives me and Matt back to her house where my Dad picks us up to take us to Red Deer.

Thursday 5th: I hang out with my Mom and she takes me clothes shopping at Superstore which I love! The best (and most wonderfully cheapest) clothes come from there. I can't seem to find the great selection of the Red Deer store in Burnaby unfortunately. ;( Then we hang around and watch tv and catch up. Retarded and irritating cat Kitt pisses and takes a dump before supper in the corner of the dining room nearest where I sit. I feel menaced and everyones appetite is ruined. Then me and Matt go out to the Vat with Katie where we listen to a band Katie wished to network with and we meet up with Nate. Everything is extrememly awkward and tense and sad and finally Katie can't take it anymore. As we leave Nate hugs Katie for a bit longer than necessary and then whispers in my ear, "I know I fucked everything up but Katie means this much to me" He pulls back and holds his arms out in an extremely endearing way. Katie is crying and I tear up and whisper back, "You could try letting her in the band" to which he replies "It's not up to me" to which I respond "The important part is." We all leave and in the van Katie mentions that Andy (Nate's brother) was there and was the reason she had to ultimately leave. I envision us turning the van around and me running into the bar to punch Andy in the fucking face. If only I had known!

Friday 6th: Katie is back in the band. Just saying. Anyways, I go to a family lunch at Matt's parents house which was really yummy and then go home (feels weird calling it that now) where my Dad teaches me how to make an impromptu salad dressing, broccoli and blue cheese pasta (a personal favourite) and traditional cinnamon stick spaghetti sauce. When I first arrived me and my Dad had discussed us using the week for cooking lessons which was really great of him. ;)

Saturday 7th: Me and Matt see TMNT. My Mom teaches me to make quiche <3 and we have a really yummy supper of that and gingerbread cake while we watch Mean Girls on tv. Which is when I realize that Matt is starting to get sick. And only partially because of the movie. We go to his sister Heather's going away party (she moved to Montreal) which was pretty fun. Me and her friend Jesse watch the overwhelmingly loud UFC that was showing at the bar and goof it up. Matt looks increasingly like death so we leave early.

Sunday 8th: Lots of candy is eaten. We go back to Calgary to have Easter dinner with my cousins and grandparents (my evil bitch of an Aunt is off in Hawaii with my Uncle and David...assholes, well not David but you know). Because my Grandpa refuses to pay for home-care right now (long fucking story of him being the most stubborn and difficult man on earth) my Mom is expected to go and bathe my Grandma which makes Mom all crazy and upset about how terrible their living conditions are but thankfully Caitlin and Katie go and help get the elders ready instead. Everyone is finally assembled in clothing and with food. We have a decent Easter (btw I hate Easter because it means nothing to me). Me and Matt both feel sick.

Monday 9th: Matt is really really sick with a fever and cold and he lies around pretty much all day. I do some taxes stuff with my Dad. My family and Matt's family all go out for Japanese. We have a really good time and I get drunk on sake. Then Matt comes back with me to my family's house and we all watch Anchorman, which is one of my favourite movies.

Tuesday 10th: My 23rd birthday! And as a present Kitt defiantly takes a piss on the vent right beside where she had sullied the floor earlier in the week. I spend the morning doing more taxes stuff with my Dad. I notice that Katie and Nate have been talking on the phone increasingly and after receiving a nice birthday note from him on myspace, break down and invite him to my birthday "party". Because I missed the guy! Still not sure if they're dating again but whatever. In the afternoon Katie takes me out as she has to hand in a paper and we go for coffee. Then we go to Brushstrokes for an hour to visit with Bev which makes me very happy. I worked with her for 2 1/2 years at Hot Pot and we are good friends but bad at keeping in touch, my main friendship fault. My Dad teaches me how to make pizza (homemade crust- I know how to put on toppings ;P) and we have pizza and caesar salad and some delicious lemon cake that my Mom made earlier. I get tons of presents (which makes packing a really fucking pain in the ass later but for which I am very thankful and happy)! Then we all go out to see 300 which was everything I had hoped it would be. ;) I stay up really late packing and then watch my cat Meggy sleep. She had followed me around all week purring and it was so great to be around her again. My poor old cat, how I miss you. Sigh...

Wednesday 11th: Katie wakes me up to say goodbye and gives me a nice cuddle. I have only had about 4 hours of sleep but I get up to get ready to go to Calgary and see my grandparents again before I'm to meet Matt at the airport with his family (they were seeing off Heather). Me and my parents arrive at my grandparents home with lunch, cake, and presents (for my Granny's birthday) to see them in their pajamas. My Granny hadn't had her medication (1 1/2 hours late) and Grandpa made me vacuum disgusting green foam off of his couch. The rest of the visit wasn't much better. My Grandpa ignored my Mom when she mentioned that it had been my birthday the day before and generally acted like a crazy miser. I was happy to get to wish my Granny a happy birthday but was extremely relieved when we finally left. Then we went to the airport and had teary goodbyes and me and Matt came home to beautiful green plants and lush flowers. Ta da!

And now after having spent an hour typing all of that I should get ready for work and put away the stuff from my trip! I feel kind of sick and really tired so today should be quite the time. Ugh. Oh but I joined facebook and I think I love it. So if you have one and are interested, add me! I'm the Lindsay Nault getting cuddles in my picture. ;P

Important Message.

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 16:31:23 GMT

It's my birthday! So give me love!! ;D

Ok, so I've been really sucking at lj lately by not being very commenty or posty. But I've been visiting family and doing a ton of stuff so you know! I've been reading as much as I can and I do care. Real post and activity soon!

Also...it is dumping soft fluffy snow all over the place here. Like more snow than I saw pretty much all winter. Is it strange that most of my birthdays have been such? I think so.

Hair show.

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:42:17 GMT

So yesterday was definitely an interesting one. We got up really early and headed out to be at the waterfront station for 8:30 model call. First we accidentally went into a posh hotel and then we found the convention centre right next to it. We'd forgotten our tickets but the people let us in anyways.

There were a million little setup stages but thank goodness ours (Paul Mitchell) was across from the door so we saw it right away. So we went over there and everything was a little crazy. I immediately had make-up done, which I was excited about because some of the models who had arrived earlier had really well done faces. But I ended up looking like a drag queen, I swear! She put purple eyeshadow on me with electric blue eyeliner, coloured my brows in a cool-toned darker colour (stupid!) and then proceeded to put so much blusher on me that I looked pink. Pink!! The dreaded colour I strive to avoid in my day to day make-up!! ;/// Also I had on dark pink lipstick which I kept wiping off and had to have her re-apply. Ugh...

So I really wasn't impressed with that from the get go as I thought I looked hideous (Matt said it wasn't that bad but he figured they really could have picked something to suit me more). But it was really sweet that while the make-up artist did my face a couple of the hairstylists (including Kim) hung around and they were all saying that I "had the look" and could easily get into some form of modelling. They said that I had the perfect blend of an unusual look with conventional beauty and I was very flattered.

Anyways, most of the day I didn't do too much. I sat around and chatted with some of the girls who were mostly really nice except for the one we all called "the diva" who ridiculously thought I was trying to make her look bad when I suggested which outfit she wear and later when lunch was brought to us stated "Ugh I don't want to eat anything I just need a fucking smoke!" and ran off. It was pretty funny. ;P Matt was the only guy there so he said it felt a bit awkward for him but he seemed to have a decent time. But he was overthinking everything and looked so nervous upstage as he got his hair done! It was really cute.

Basically when we weren't just sitting around talking and eating we were up on stage getting presented as the stylists cut, dyed or styled our hair. Matt said he felt like an object but I've been on stage more than him and done a few minor accounts of modelling type things so I didn't really care. Just kind of chilled out. Except I had to wear these ridiculous outfits (for some reason I was the only person to get costume changed from the demo outfit which was a ruffly white halter and black gouchos to the presentation outfit which was a denim and applique tank and skirt) plus really high high heels! In sizes much too big for me as my feet are size 5 1/2-6 1/2 depending on the shoe and the smallest shoes I could find were 7 1/2. And when it comes to too big high heels that is definitely NOT a good thing!

Our hair ended up alright. I miss Matt's flowy locks but he has this cute kind of 70s do like Eric Forman's but longer and they put some lighter blond streaks in. They dyed my hair dark violet red. Which is alright. I miss my natural colour I must say but it'll grow out. At least it looks good with my normal makeup, something I tested out right after I had my shower yesterday. And I took a couple pictures for you guys!

I'm going to try and get around to re-dreading it today as all that crap they did to it yesterday left it in extra shambles. Ugh...but overall it was a pretty fun experience. Definitely something different that I can add to the random things I have done list! ;D

And now I had to go get dressed, do laundry and desperately try to neaten up the apartment before I have to leave for my lamest shift ever of 3:30-11:30pm at Starbucks. Because Joel is coming to visit us and I'd like it to be vaguely pleasant for him to sleep here. ;P

First day

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 07:17:28 GMT

I had a really satisfying Saturday! It was my first day at JJ Bean and I thought it was all really great. Very laid back attitude and funky people with lots of yummy stuff to eat and drink. Like home-baked stuff not just silly Starbucks store food. Also I saw about a bazillion people with dreads. Just tons and lots of white girls like me which I hadn't really seen much of! Most of them had beautifully long and tight dreads that were just gorgeous. I was envious. ;P I think I'm really going to like working there. It seems like a really great place for me. I'm already making friends I think. ;)

So tomorrow is the hair show. And here I am staying up too late because I can't sleep. I have to wake up at 6 tomorrow morning. And I want to look fresh and beautiful. Ugh. I hope my hair turns out really cool! I'm kind of nervous but I'm sure it will be fun.

-1 cup of white berry blossom tea with a bit of milk and sugar
-1 brown toast with butter, peanut butter, and raspberry jam
-1 caramal skim latte
-1 salmon and cucumber sandwich
-2 pickles
-most of a pumpkin cream cheese muffin
-tons of glasses of water
-1 cup of green tea
-1 cheese smokie hotdog with saurkraut, relish, bbq sauce, ketchup, and mustard
-2 pieces of gummy candy
-0 candles, scented or otherwise ;P

Food and other stuff

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 03:54:07 GMT

Lately I've been unhappy with my body (particularly in the thigh region but also somewhat with my bum and tummy) so I'm going to try and keep track of what I eat in an attempt to discover my habits (which I have somewhat of a clue about) so that I can try to eat more healthily. If you guys have any input along the way I am glad to hear it. Don't know if I'll actually be able to keep this up but we shall see!

-cup of chai tea with a bit of skim milk and honey
-brown toast with peanut butter
-some candies (stress eating...probably anywhere from 5-10 gummies)
-4 pickles
-cucumber and cheese sandwich with light pesto and miracle whip on brown bread
-double tall vanilla soy latte
-small cup of dark coffee with some skim milk
-2 shot espresso with 1 pump of pumpkin spice and a bit of whip cream (oh my god SO GOOD!! First time I've tried this was today!)
-travel mug of herbal tea
-2 cups of green tea
-4 pieces of veggie maki
-1 piece each of california maki, salmon sushi, and unagi sushi

And I'm probably going to have a bedtime snack as well. Don't know what yet. But wow caffeine! It didn't seem like so much until I wrote it out.

I'm thinking I need to start excercising as well because right now I do basically nothing. I keep meaning to do my yoga video but I suck. Ah well.

Oh and onto actual news! Tomorrow is my first day at my new job and on Sunday I am going to be a hair model (with Matt!) for this really pro Paul Mitchell show going on this weekend! So I'm pretty excited on both accounts. ;D

Anyways I'm off to read some Harry Potter with Matt and get my beauty sleep! ;P

Rain rain GO AWAY

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 16:37:33 GMT

I've been waking up each morning for the past few days now completely exhausted, basically no matter what. And even though all I'd like to do is roll back up in bed until I feel well-rested for once, I have to now take a retarded Latin quiz, then go to work for a waste of time 12-4:30 shift (FUCK), and then accompany Matt to sign in to be a hair model for this thing we're doing this weekend. Well that I'm likely not doing because I don't see what they'll want to do with me besides cut it all off into a pixie cut and dye it red which would be definitely unappreciated. But he's getting styled. Which kind of makes me sad. Because I love his hair right now all long and flowy. ;(...

Moral of the story is: Mother Earth? Please make the rain stop, just for a little while. Because you're making me far too dreadfully sleepy and grumpy.

Lonely...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 01:20:41 GMT

It makes me kind of sad that on the evening I plan ahead to make a nice supper so that Matt can eat as soon as he gets home he mysteriously is late. ;(

Undereyes

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 17:44:30 GMT

Kind of random but does anyone have any suggestions for undereye cover-up? I've just layered both concealor and foundation like 3 times underneath my eyes and I still look like I'm on crack. I guess I'm not getting enough iron or something? But seriously...not cool.

Morning!

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 16:47:33 GMT

I asked Matt to wake me up when he woke up this morning and it's definitely been a good thing. At first I was cursing my self of last night for telling him not to relent in making sure I got up, but now I've had a fun morning surfing the internet and chatting with friends I don't usually get to talk with.

Happy. And not for any real reason at all. And I kind of want to spread the happiness around. ;D

I only work from 11:30-3:30 today and I will likely be discussing leaving Starbucks with Vicky as I didn't get a chance to last night. So here goes! New chapter! I'm just hoping that the people at my new job will like me. I'm kind of a dork that way. I'm always hoping that everyone I meet (that seem nice and cool and such) will be my best friend. Seriously. *blushes*

And also...I'M COMING HOME FOR A VISIT IN TWO WEEKS!!!! ;DDDD

~*~ When She Wishes ~*~